


i'm changing my ways where money applies

by song_of_staying



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Inflation Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/song_of_staying/pseuds/song_of_staying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux left their shared quarters at 0517. Kylo did not wake up. Kylo wasn't a heavy sleeper, but he was a phlegmatic. He did not get excited over the minutiae of world domination.</p><p>This was why he would never rise above #14 on Hux's list of enjoyable things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm changing my ways where money applies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [undertheneonmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/undertheneonmoon/gifts).



Hux left their shared quarters at 0517. Kylo did not wake up. Kylo wasn't a heavy sleeper, but he was a phlegmatic. He did not get excited over the minutiae of world domination.  
  
This was why he would never rise above #14 on Hux's list of enjoyable things.  
  
By 0538, the news broke that Ptolemy II was capitulating to the First Order. People were starting to cry on social media. Hux turned on his stereo.  
  
When he was young, Hux dreamed of becoming an agent provocateur. His parents said he didn't have the temperament for it. His mother advised him to apply to the censorship and morale division. Father thought he should become an informant, and yet he was surprised when Hux turned him in for running an unlicensed distillery. Both his parents had a poor imagination.  
  
At 0547, someone posted a nostalgic video of the Empire's visually memorable failures, set to a popular song. Hux reblogged it to his secret account. It was humorous, and also, it would be useful to see the responses. Perhaps he would arrange for Kylo to see it. It would make him sad, which would make him horny.  
  
At 0549, Phasma rattled into his office. She was half-dressed and uncombed, a pitiful picture overall.  
  
"Sir," she said. Her voice was an unpleasant growl. "The ptol is dropping by the minute. It has dropped 30% in the last half hour. Are we still paying our staff in -"  
  
"According to regulation," Hux purred. This was #7 on his list of favourite things, so he repeated the words. "According to regulation, whenever we are stationed on a planet, comet or autonomous asteroid, wages are given in the local currency."  
  
"But sir - "  
  
"Ptolemy II is - unless I am very much mistaken - a planet."  
  
"Sir. By this afternoon, the entire month's wage will be worth less than a square meal."  
  
"In that case - perhaps it would be prudent to hurry up the payment process. Don't you think?"  
  
Phasma closed her eyes for a moment - perhaps she needed some time to take it all in; these large soldier types were ever so slow - and then she took off running.  
  
Hux considered following her. He had had the privilege to witness a collapsing currency twice before, and it was a marvelous experience. He slid his hand down and let himself visualise it: office workers and cleaning staff, footsoldiers and the logistics division, all forming a snaking line in front of the credit machine. Clutching their cards. Biting their lips. Knowing that with every passing minute, the value of the sum they were about to receive would sink even further.  
  
Desperation was #4 on Hux's list.  
  
But today, he had a particular treat for himself - a nice fat stack of paper money. Yesterday, it would have been enough to buy a small ship. By the end of today, it would literally be worth less than the paper it was printed on. He slid a damp thumb over the bills. Kylo had no imagination either, but he was agreeable enough when directed. Hux would wake him up, tell him the good news, watch that long nose scrunch up in annoyance - then, Hux would drag his stack down Kylo's neck. He'd talk about how many times the money had to have changed hands before it got here. He'd talk about how papercuts were against regulation, but still happened. At that point, Kylo would start going along with it -  
  
Well, they had three hours left until Hux had to make his speech. Time enough to make sure every single bill was defiled, stained, made worthless.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for undertheneonmoon, whose appreciation is unwavering. <3.
> 
> Title is from This Is Not A Love Song - Public Image Limited.


End file.
